Hail Mary Songs

by John Hays

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released June 27, 2014

recorded by: Jerome Westerkamp. Cincinnati, OH



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John Hays Cincinnati, Ohio

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Track Name: The Soil
It's lonely when you're paying for your sins
and these consequences feel like they're never gonna end
and if you wanna leave, well I can't make you wanna stay
cause these problems that I have, I don't think they're goin away

you'll never know the depths that I know
and I'll never know yours
but those holes have all been filled
so why do we dwell on whats buried in the dirt
Track Name: They Don't Give A Shit
hate to admit, but I can't quit
writing these songs that sound like shit
and insulting everyone I know

but it's no different here or there
it's the same ol assholes everywhere
especially in a basement show

everyone I used to know
has come and gone so long ago
and it kills me, but I need to admit
they ain't comin back and they don't give a shit

hide my pain by ruining your name
apologies are nothin in this game
I can't let anyone know whats inside

so when I say how awful you are
its just relief from the scars
of knowing I'll never be shit and then I'll die

everyone I used to know
has come and gone so long ago
and it kills me but I need to admit
they aint comin back and they don't give a shit

but I'll still stand where heroes stood
pretend to be more than I should
I'm just a fuck up ruining your night

I wonder what they were thinking
when they wrote, the words they wrote
and if they knew that I'd be rippin em off tonight
Track Name: Temporary
My friend asked me the other day what I had been up to, and to be honest I had no idea how to answer that question. I said I'd been singing, and I said I'd been fightin. I'd been gamblin on horses, getting old and slowly dyin. the worst way possible, one day at a time. watching the hours crawl by with calloused hands and sorry eyes

sometimes I wanna give it up, let the river drown me downstream
sometimes I wanna live it all, temporary is beauty

most people can't understand realizing you're a working man. that thought makes me believe that all I got in the world is me. spend my days with cups of caffeine, they're the only thing keepin me followin my dream. I knew so long ago, that I'd go nowhere and I'm gettin there slow.
Track Name: Suffer Together
My pal Kevin's got a big fuckin knife
he holds it close when he sleeps at night
sometimes I wonder if he might be right
when he says we'd be better if we all died

I got friends that can barely breathe
and I got some friends that never seem to sleep
a missin thumb for my friend steve
but all together, we're all complete

to live is to suffer
and it won't get better
so we'll suffer, but we'll suffer together
I'd rather struggle than be some boring winner
who cares and whatever...this shit don't even matter

do you exist if you ain't got nothin to say?
should we be impressed by the stages you've played?
are you old when your hair turns gray?
or are you old when you ain't got nothin left to save...

I got some friends with sidewalks for homes
and I got some friends that can't stand to be alone
some say we live to slow
but all together we'll get where we gotta go

to live is to suffer
and it won't get better
so we'll suffer, but we'll suffer together
I'd rather struggle than be some boring winner
cause who cares, whatever..this shit don't even matter
Track Name: Goddamn Roses
you left your goddamn roses when you left
I been begging for mercy but I'm running out of breath
what part of forever, didn't you get?
from now on, I've got nothin left

I would do anything... just to forget today

your jeans and sweatshirt are still crumpled in the corner
and I'm not sure how to ignore them for much longer
I'm goin out so I don't feel so sick
hopin someone new will do the trick

eventually your makeup will wash off the sheets
from all those nights you spent cryin in your sleep
it's got to be ok, its what they all say
it's got to be ok, ain't they got anything better to try to say

I would do anything...just to forget today
Track Name: Thumbtucker
I'm givin money on every corner, pretty sure I'll be standing there
with a broken soul and failed goals, asking for change from all my friends
cause I can't stop fuckin up and ruinin shit for everyone
but I hope that new car drives real fast
to home then work and then back again
cause sell outs will need some rest for their corporate life and corporate death.

I'd love to complain, but I'd feel just the same as all those bands I claim to hate..maybe I just can't relate. cause now I'm gettin older and goddamn it's gettin harder, to listen to songs they sing about stupid shit and nothing

when I'm dead and I'm six foot deep I hope my friends won't remember me for fallin apart and rottin away with more regrets than I had days
and all those pretty darlin's that never stayed
and all those times I was just too late
there's never enough time for apologies
i'm just assuming, that y'all forgive me
Track Name: Piner
sittin on the front porch lookin at the scenery
lookin at the dogs, the streets and trees
lookin inward, I'm lookin at me
just another shitty dude with low self esteem
i'm comin to realize that we can't all be free
but I believe I'd be happy with you next to me

thinkin about the church that I used to visit
wonderin what happened to the kids that were in it
did they grow up to accomplish there dreams
or did they become as fucked up as me
and I ain't spoke to the old man in years
I never listened, but he always had ears

drove by the school on my way home
never did that playground seem so alone
thinkin bout the friends that passed through those halls
memories formed inside those walls
its the place where I learned to be free
simply content, with slides and a swing
Track Name: Better Than Me
I didn't wanna confess this, but I think you were right. when you said that I didn't care about my own life. the truth is I really don't care about much anymore. just another piece of dust floating through the floor.

you think you're better than me? I wish you were

I wish I could write a song that didn't make you laugh. and I didn't need guitar to say the pains I have. I've seen those smiles come and I've made them go. sometimes I don't wanna laugh when I'm feelin low.

you think you're better than me? you probably should be

and if I'm still a stranger, the fuck ya need to know? I get up early and I go to work, then I come back home. I pretend there are places that I should be, just places to kill some time then I'm back asleep

you think you're better than me? well who the fuck wouldn't be?

I been tryin hard to laugh
swear to god that I have.
I just wish that I had somethin
other than this shitty summer to smile at
Track Name: Sissies
not much that I've got left. just a few X's inside my chest. a shitty attitude and a record collection. a dead end path in either direction. you wait on schools to give you a voice, shit like me never had a choice. every leader that begs for a vote, then stands at our backs..knife to our throats.

and although this life is shit, I still have my pride
all sissies goin to hell, but I ain't one to cry

uneducated failures is all that we are
from jail we are free but we aint goin far
if I was nothin then, you should see me now
if I was nothin then, you should see what I've become
Track Name: Laughing
sometimes I wonder why we're laughing, cause it feels like the jokes on us
and other times I can't help from smiling, cause givin a shit never changed much.

you still go out on friday night, like them bars ain't full enough. you swear to god that you're fighting back, first just one more cup. you're so sedated, and you're so submissive, yet you're so offended, cause you've givin up. so you listen to your friends and you deny the obvious, the sad truth is you're already fucked